Life is hard and then you die. I heard this said a couple of times from a friend. This saying seems to resonate right now in my mind lately. Actually quite a bit. Yes I do agree that life is hard and yes we do indeed have an appointed time for death but what a great reminder of God's faithfulness inspite of our faithlessness.
We have no reason to fear life and death because of what Christ accomplished on the cross. Amen.
BUT.....yes there is a but, if you are reading this then I've personally sent it to you hoping that you will take time just to listen to me ramble about what's going on with me and life.
My Blog Title
Recently on facebook one of my dear friends wrote on her wall sharing her love for her husband and wishing him a lovely birthday and at the very end of her comment she wrote, "Let's do life, Dawg!" Okay, I know you are probably thinking, (this is so random and what does this have to do with anything). Actually, if you knew my friend you would know that she definitely has a way with words and that saying has been marked down in my book. In my favorite sayings book that is.
So now I continue to spontaneously say that to Micah, "Babe let's do life, Dawg!" Although, Micah just simply shakes his head, I know he still loves me and tolerates me when I say that. Now, I've changed it up a little and now just say, "Babe, I'm so thankful to do life with you." That always puts a smile on his face and makes me happy to say it.
Since I've been sharing that alot with Micah, I've decided to change up my blog title to, "Let's do Life" covering some dear topics from marriage, health and community. And like I said before, I'm just wanting you to know what's going on with me and life.
Now back to my BUT.....I do believe whole heartedly in what Christ has done for me, except I've been having many days where I can't seem to hide that deep in my heart. As any christian, I know we all struggle but lately I've been feeling lots of struggling going on. Doing life can take a toll on you and let me just share, in this particular area in my life, it has been a huge struggle and that struggle would be my health. It has been such a huge struggle that many times I fear the worse and forget that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Okay now saying all of that here's my story:
About a week ago, I watched my four year old struggle with wanting to press the play button on the remote to the VHS. (Yeah, we are still old school. No flat screen t.v. yet.) and as she was doing it, I offered to help her and explain how to do it. She would look straight in my eyes and tell me, "Mom, I can do it all by myself." "I don't need your help!" I would look at her sweet but little stubborn face and tell her "Lena, momma has to show you how to do it." And again she would tell me, "No Mom, I can do it all by myself!" So this went on for about a good five minutes and finally I had to get in her pretty little but stubborn face and popped her on her leg because I needed to get her attention and with a loud voice explain "Lena, no you can not do it by yourself!" "You need my help and I'm going to help you and show you what to press." Oh she huffed and puffed and crossed her arms and begin to grumble under her breath and said okay. Many times I've had these conversations with her but I really can't tell you why this one has stuck out to me the most. As soon as I showed her, it didn't take me long to see myself being the same way with God.
I am so stubborn and I think I can do things all by myself and God has to get my attention and when he does get my attention, it hurts. Pride is just an ugly thing. It's a nasty picture to look at and God has no place for it. You know how it works, when we think we already know something, but don't, it really takes the grace of God to make you realize that we truly don't know and can't do anything by ourselves, yep that's right. We need God, we need accountability, we need community, and we need to be vulnerable with one another.
Me being vulnerable with you
In January of 2011, I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. When I found out I should've not been surprised but I was and was so disappointed and ashamed that I had allowed myself to come to this point. It runs in my family and both my parents have Type 2 Diabetes, so it was just a matter of time before I got it. As soon as I found out I had diabetes, it became a motivation for me to take action. I began to work out and watch my diet. Over the last year I've lost 20lbs and have not gained it back even when I was pregnant with Sophia and after giving birth. But now the focus is to continue to lose more weight and watch my sugars and maintain a healthy diet. Thankfully, I don't have to be on insulin and I can control my sugars with diet and excercise. Well, that's easier said than done. I've joined a gym and I have partnered up with Angelica Carmona for accountability. I am also taking a diabetes management class that has educated me a lot about diabetes and I have also met with a dietician. I feel like the Lord has open up great opportunities for me to seriously make this life change and be an advocate for people who are suffering with this disease. Really, to be quite honest with you though, it's been such a huge challenge to get back into the swing of things since I've had Sophia. I come to you feeling like a complete failure and need you to pray for me. This health of mine has been a struggle. I don't want to give up but I sure do feel like it. Most importantly I have two beautiful little girls that need their mommy to be an example. I know I can't do this on my own. I do know that with God all things are possible and I'm really tired of putting those "buts" behind any of Gods' Word.
My Prayer Requests:
So please keep me in prayer. This literally has to become a priority in my life. Pray that I stay focus, and press through even when I don't feel like it. Pray that I start making these small changes and follow through as they will grow into big and healthier changes.
Pray that I actively stay in Gods' Word reminding myself of his promises for me.
Also, please know if you are reading this then it's taken a lot for me to share and as a dear sister in the Lord, I need you. Ask me "How are you doing, Rose?" and give me encouragement. I know I'll need it. Thank You ladies!
In Him,
Rose
